Our athletes train hard, but they also rest hard. At Midnight Sprint Coaching, recovery is not an absence of activity. It is an activity, and it requires technique.
The principle of flatness
The first rule of recovery is to become flat. A flat cat has no tension, no sharp edges, and no responsibility. You should aim to look as though you have been poured.
Begin by choosing a surface. Tile is best in summer, a radiator shelf is best in winter, and a freshly ironed shirt is best at all times, although it will cost you your reputation with the owner.
The seven stages of the sprawl
Our coaches have identified seven stages:
- The Lower: dropping your front half to the ground.
- The Slide: letting the back half follow.
- The Roll: turning on to one side, with one paw out.
- The Reveal: showing the belly. Do not trust it. It is a trap.
- The Sigh: a single long exhalation, with eyes half closed.
- The Twitch: a small movement of one back leg, as if running in a dream.
- The Stillness: the end state, in which you may be mistaken for a rug.
Hydration and warmth
Recovery requires warmth. If you cannot find sun, find a laptop. If you cannot find a laptop, find a human lap. If you cannot find a human, find a cardboard box with a single hole in it and let your imagination do the rest.
Common errors
Many athletes make the mistake of recovering in a doorway. This is poor practice. A doorway is a place of transition, and you will be moved. A better choice is the middle of the kitchen floor, where you will be stepped over, which we consider a form of respect.
Mental recovery
The body is only half the story. You must also rest your mind. We recommend a thirty minute period of staring at a point on the wall that does not matter. Pip can help by describing nothing to you in a low voice.
When to resume
You are ready to resume training when you hear the sound of a tin being opened. This is the signal. It is not for you. You will arrive anyway.
Rest well, and return stronger, preferably at 3 AM.