A true athlete trains in all conditions. At Midnight Sprint Coaching, we have prepared a Weather Plan for the season ahead, covering the three natural enemies of the dedicated sprinter: rain, thunder, and the vacuum cleaner. The last is not a weather event, but it is felt like one.
Rain
Rain is a gentle opponent. It taps on the window, calls from the roof, and makes the garden unreachable. The wise athlete therefore moves the whole programme indoors and treats the windowsill as a viewing gallery. Watch the drops race one another. Choose a favourite. Be disappointed when it merges with another.
Rain is also an excellent excuse to skip the morning run. Thaddeus Zoomsworth has not run before noon on a wet day since the Spring of 2021, and he regards this as discipline.
Thunder
Thunder demands a different approach. The correct response to thunder is to vanish. We recommend a three step drill:
- Hear the sound.
- Become a rumour.
- Reappear in the airing cupboard, behind the boiler, with a look of calm.
Once there, remain for as long as the storm continues. You may use the time to practise breathing, which is something you do at all times, but now with intention.
The vacuum cleaner
The vacuum cleaner is the most feared opponent in the sport. It is loud, it is red, and it moves with a purpose that no cat can match. A beginner will flee at the first hum. An intermediate athlete will watch from a safe height. An advanced athlete will wait until it is switched off, then walk past it slowly, and sniff it, to show that it was never feared at all.
Mental preparation
We train our athletes to see noise as an opportunity. A bang is a signal to move. A rumble is a signal to be elsewhere. A hum is a signal to sit on the stairs and stare, in a manner that says “I am not leaving, I am simply on the stairs.”
Recovery after weather
When the storm has passed, step out slowly. Stretch. Wash a paw. Walk into the room like someone who has just returned from a long expedition. Your human will stroke you. Accept this. You have earned it.
Coach’s closing words
“The weather is temporary. The sofa is forever.”
Stay dry, stay low, and keep your eyes on the door.