At the end of every year, Midnight Sprint Coaching publishes its results. This year’s report was prepared by Pip, who tried to include a graph and settled for a paw print.
Headline results
- Three official records were broken, though no one is sure which ones.
- Two formal complaints were received from neighbours. Both were framed and hung in the office.
- One moth was apprehended, interviewed, and released. It declined to comment.
Records
The first record was the Hallway Dash, which Biscuit completed in forty four seconds, as previously reported. The second was the Kitchen Slide, set by a black cat named Ink, who travelled nine feet on a wet floor without moving her legs. The third was the Silent Approach, set by Thaddeus Zoomsworth, who was in the room for six minutes before anyone noticed him, and who is delighted.
Complaints
The first complaint came from Number 14, who wrote that “the noise sounds like a wardrobe falling downstairs, repeatedly.” We thanked them for their feedback and added it to our testimonials.
The second came from Number 16, who wrote simply, “Why.” We have not been able to answer, and have placed their letter on the fridge.
Finance
The company ended the year with a small profit and a large tin of treats. Ledger, our visiting accountant, said that this is the ideal ratio. He also asked us to stop describing the tin as an asset.
Challenges
We faced three major challenges:
- Two stopwatches were lost.
- One was eaten.
- The fourth is on the roof, and we are no longer discussing it.
Looking ahead
Next year, we plan to introduce a Dawn Programme, for athletes who wish to train between 5 AM and 6 AM. We expect a low uptake. Most of our clients do not believe in 5 AM.
Thank you
To our athletes, our staff, and our long suffering neighbours: we could not do it without you. We could do it without the noise, but we would not want to.