Every great training programme needs a story. Ours is the story of Biscuit, a seven year old white cat from a suburban two bedroom flat, who in March completed the hallway sprint in a time that Pip has recorded as “forty four seconds, give or take a nap.”
The early years
Biscuit came to us in the autumn, a cat of modest ambition. She had never run more than twelve feet in a straight line. Her owner described her as “calm”, “gentle”, and “a bit of a loaf”.
Her first sessions were unremarkable. She walked down the hallway. She sat down halfway. She looked at a door. Thaddeus Zoomsworth watched from the cupboard and wrote in his notes: “Potential. Or a nap.”
The turning point
Everything changed on a Tuesday. At 3:11 AM, a moth entered the hallway. Biscuit saw the moth. The moth saw Biscuit. Neither of them has spoken of what happened next, but the hallway was crossed in four bounds, and the coat rack was never the same.
Training philosophy
Biscuit’s approach is based on three principles:
- Wait until everyone is asleep.
- Run before you know why.
- Look surprised when asked.
She credits her success to Pip, who held the stopwatch throughout and who, she says, “believed in me, and also ate part of the stopwatch.”
The record
The forty four second hallway is now the benchmark for all Midnight Sprint athletes. Technically, it is a poor time. The hallway is nine feet long. But Biscuit included a lap of the sofa, a diversion to the kitchen, and a fourteen second pause to wash a paw, which we consider a legitimate part of the run.
Her message to young cats
When asked what she would say to a young cat starting out, Biscuit said, “Run when it is dark. Stop when it is boring. If you are unsure, sit in a box.”
We think that is the finest coaching advice we have ever received. We have put it on a poster. The poster has been knocked off the wall.